Always Getting in Conflict? We Offer You Some Quick Help Here!

Always Getting in Conflict? We Offer You Some Quick Help Here!


Getting in conflict with other people is an inevitable occurrence that takes place in any person’s lifetime. The more we get to know others, and the more we get to see that there are massive differences between you and that other individual, the more we draw closer to a clash.

But how do we get out of this? Here, Arjun Walia offers some help.

Don’t rock the boat. Don’t stir the pot. Leave well enough alone. Go with the flow. These were sayings that I had lived by for a long time.

When I was little, I was very shy, quiet, and highly empathetic. I held onto the emotions I felt fiercely. I learned from a young age that speaking up meant possibly starting conflict (something that I was very afraid of), so I swallowed my feelings every time something happened that I didn’t agree with. Or, if I did speak up and someone disagreed with what I had to say, I’d immediately back down and apologize.

When I began seeing energy healers I’d hear over and over that my throat chakra was blocked and that I needed to express myself. I didn’t understand. I had no issues with expressing love and affection. I didn’t know what the problem was. What wasn’t I seeing?

With time, I learned that it was the “negative” emotions that I was expressing, not the “positive” ones. Every time I felt pain, sadness, discouragement, or anger, I’d withhold my emotions and they’d energetically attach to my throat chakra. Every feeling that I did not acknowledge, express, and let go became stuck. It got so bad that for a while I stopped feeling any emotions at all. I felt numb. I couldn’t feel very happy or very sad.

madI just had this vague sense of discontentment no matter how positive my life was. I was so afraid of conflict that I didn’t express any negativity at all and I started  having throat related problems (swollen glands, hypothyroidism) and big time emotional baggage. I also didn’t have any energy, I always wanted to sleep and eat because they were the only activities that made me feel better.

I had dug myself a big hole and I knew that I was the only one that could get myself out.  So slowly, I had to deal with all of the emotions that I had stored for so many years. I had to chip away at the mountain of emotions,  writing down everything that I felt so that I could isolate the problems in my life and then, eventually, discover the solutions.

Becoming aware of my issues was not all that difficult – painful at times, sure, but certainly easier than the next step of the process – changing my behaviour.

I had to speak my truth. I knew that I needed to start communicating the buried feelings I had discovered. I needed to speak to those who hurt me, stand up for myself, and change a lot in my life. I knew that this would involve the oh-so dreaded “conflict.” I decided that my fear of conflict did not outweigh my desire for change. I decided to speak up and stir the pot for once.

I’m happy to report that I’m still here! The conflict didn’t kill me like my ego said it might. I made it out to the other side in one piece having learnt a lot in the process. I’ve written down 7 things I’ve learned from unblocking and opening my throat chakra. I wish I had known them when I started this journey, so that’s why I decided to share them with you today and hopefully, save you from struggling in the same way I did.

1. Embrace those who challenge you

Oh boy. There are a few people that come to mind as I write this. The people that challenge you most are typically the ones that you don’t like. You don’t like them because they make choices that you don’t agree with. These people challenge your view of things. The trouble here is that often react by aggressively defending our own ways of doing things or by trying to change them so that they adopt our viewpoints.


If you embrace them and accept them as the teachers that they are, you’ll stop fighting them and begin learning from them.

These people are giving you the opportunity to change your way of doing things and see another way of living. They each have something to teach you. Look for the lesson and appreciate that they are in your life.

2. Think before you express yourself

For example, a person can teach you to stand up for yourself because they take advantage of you. They challenge your girl-thinkingway of being by their treatment of you. Other times, a person can teach you about love by never expressing it to you.

You learn that expressing love can make the receiver feel loved and supported and the opposite if love is not expressed. This person has challenged your way of being.

Feeling a certain way doesn’t give you permission to be insensitive to the feelings of others. It’s okay to be angry or sad, but not to intentionally hurt another with your words. Be sensitive. Communicate your message with as much love as you can.

3. Let it Go

How the other person will receive your message is out of your control. As long as you say your message with love, you must allow the other person to feel what they need to feel. Be you. Be loving. Be open and honest and let it go. Don’t try to control the outcome.


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